RETSELISMS

birthday

2009-04-27T00:03:00.000-07:00

finally,
it's my 19 birthday,
everything is just come and go,
happy, sad, excitement, lame, and bla bla bla,
throughout my 18 years old,
i learn and gain alot of so call experience,
and till now,
i think i still got alot more to learn,
guess so??hahaha,
thinking back,
my 18 years old was really crazy,
hahaha,
sometimes things seem to be easy going but some not,
maybe that what we called life,
so till now,
19 finally approach and appear to me,
so what should i do??
i don't know,
live life till the max,
live happily and enjoy whatever im doing,
wahahahah...
i will...will continue it,
happy 19 years old LESTER!!!

value of life

2009-03-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

what is the meaning of value of life?
i guess everyone been asking themselves about this question many times right,
my value of life,
hmmm,
be outstanding from others?
be interactive?
be confident?
i don't know man...
it always come across my mind,
but i keep thinking and thinking,
and still couldn't get what is that to me...
till the day i met a couple,
they told me a lot of thing in the world of rainbow,
i only started to realize that,
the cycle of rainbow life,
thing seem to come and go everyday,
it just that whether do you give out an afford to appreciate those people or things that pass-by you every single second,
they are quite right,
im currently have reach a stage to feel lonely and need more friends,
friends that i could share my thought to them,
hang out for movie, drink and etc.
and im searching for it,
i use to be on red light last time,
but it time for me to turn on my green light and accept new buddies.
Lester you can do it...
yup yup...
go go go...

postmen

2009-03-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

who do that person think i am?
postmen??
why do i need to help that person deliver messages to other people,
that's the thing that person always asked me to do,
and what i want to say here is,
im off from that job for now onward,
i don't want to be a postmen for you anymore,
im bored and fed up of it,
what do you think i am to you?
everything you said to me,
i follow...
and you said wait you back,
i wait...
but now you are back here,
hey man i have feeling as well,
i don't mind you have keep that person with you,
but did you ever ever thought of me even for a second?
i guess no right...
hahaha...
in this while,
im being naive,
thought that you are here,
everything will be settle and i no need to worry about it,
when im there,
just to have fun and enjoy myself,
but for now,
no more,
since you say wanted to be a good person,
i can't stop you,
because that your personal life,
what i can do now,
is to be indepandent,
and remember never depand on anyone again,
because it might lead to somehow current situation,
lastly bless you and all the best for your future.
i will not forget you for the rest of my life,
because you are the one who bring me out of my little world.

holiday

2009-03-10T03:52:00.000-07:00

y do the word holiday don't really bring me alot of fun,
am i nuts or wat??
holiday man,
everyone like it,
ya i know,
but i just don't like holiday,
can bored till die off slowly!!!
my previous weekend,
i really really wish to go to some places,
but i can't,
no one accompany me,
because it my first time visit k,
don't know what will i turn to be when im in there,
hahaha,
show so wrong right,
anyway this weekend was the boring-iessss i ever had,
wanted to go out but just can't,
i slowly found out that,
im actually quite annoying sometimes,
hahaha,
like to repeat myself alot of times,
ok ok ok,
dinner time,
study hard ya Lester,
exam around the conrner!!!!

gone

2009-03-04T23:51:00.001-08:00

everything seem to be unfaithful to me,
it gone,
my precious thing,
just because of an hour dinner with friends,
my laptop, hardisk, documents,
all gone.
i never thought that such thing will ever happen to me,
but in reality that how life go,
who ever could predict that in another hour time your thing will be stolen by someone,
when i found out that my laptop bag was actually gone,
the feeling at that time,
i really don't know how to put it in words man,
upset,
angry,
piss off,
and so and so,
what else can i say??
just that im the unlucky one on that night,
if so anyone of you,
please bear in my mind from now onward,
don't ever ever put your belonging in your car,
bring it along with you everytime you out of your car,
and so for those pick-pockets, theifs, and what so ever,
don't think that you could run away for your next time,
yes you could be free for the first time or second time,
but if it continue,
one day you will suffer man,
i guaranttee you will really suffer ya.

aching

2009-03-02T00:21:00.000-08:00

another awesome night for me,
at first i thought i was just the same,
but after the party start,
it was totally different from what i been through last time,
acting different roles,
nice ambiance,
what i could said it just,
i like it,
hahaha...
anyway,
fun need to be paid,
guess so,hahaha...
the day after,
my body aching like hell man,
especially my neck and shoulder bones,
but but but,
wroth it,
no regret after all,
hohohoho...

finish

2009-02-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

it finally done,
preparation for my college event,
my final presentation,
my final assignments,
and now the upcoming event for my college,
another hectic thing,
the upcoming media assignment,
don't know how is it,
well college life,
i guess most of the college dude having the same thing as i faced,
so what now,
continue working Lester,
no rest in this moment.

valentine

2009-02-14T03:41:00.000-08:00

another lonely valentine,
18 years of go alone valentine,
how come???
hahaha,
funny question rite,
i guess is just that i dont want to involve in a relationship.
in a relationship,
it take up a really big responsibility,
to loyal to that person,
to love that person,
to care about that person,
to spend time with that person,
what else??
hahaha,
actually i feel good to be single,
am i??
to comfort myself i guess so,
lastly,
happy valentine to everybody out there,
and for myself...

heavy

2009-02-10T06:59:00.000-08:00

actually what will i get in return,
seriously im asking for that,
will i get anything after all,
fame?
experiences?
i guess ya.
just that only?
i feel pretty hardship now,
i climb all the way to reach this point,
is that what i really want,
i don't want to be ordinary,
that why i keep climbing,
climbing all the way for it,
ya i guess i reach that point now,
but i never thought that it will be like that,
it making me really stressful,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
i must continue it,
i can't give up,
since i have make the first step,
i must move on,
i must and i will,
yes i will,
please i will.....

helpless

2009-01-30T07:41:00.000-08:00

on the 4th day of CNY,
where the day me and my family were about to head back to kl from ipoh,
unluckily in the morning of the day,
suddenly my aunt wake me up,
damn it just 8am ok,
then she told me that my mom fell down from the stair,
i was like huh!!! wtf??
then me and my dad quickly drive to the place where she was,
when we reach there,
i saw my mom with super f#@$ing pain and holding her leg,
at first i thought it just dislocated on her joint,
but she said her leg broken,
but i believe on my first aider experience,
i still think that just a normal dislocation,
but once we reach the hospital,
after going through x-ray,
o fuck...
it's a close fracture,
at that time i was stun and speechless,
i can't believe that it will happen on my mom,
.....
later on,
my dad ask me to follow my aunt to go back kl,
and my family will stay at ipoh look after my mom,
at that i really felt helpless and blank on my head,
but anyway im back to kl...
and i miss my mom alot,
im worried about her so much,
.....
im alone now,
i sms that person,
indeed i really need a shoulder to lay on,
to support me,
but no reply,
hahaha...
it just my own thinking toward that person,
i thought i could at least have that person support,
but...never mind,
i guess i could handle it myself...
LESTER it time to GROW UP...
STOP BEING NAIVE...
yes i can do it...

miss

2009-01-04T05:38:00.000-08:00

These day,
i wonder why,
after few minutes i'll look at my phone,
to check whether are there any messages or calls,
but there aren't any.
Today,
when i woke up in the morning,
i was thinking should i asked that person out for 'drink',
i wanted to do so much,
but i don't dare to to text that person,
i don't know why,
maybe i don't want that person to think that i'm a glue.
Now,
my mind keep thinking of that person,
that person voice,
pictures of that person talking to me,
and on and on and on,
oh god,
this feeling really irritating,
i hate it.
I wish now that person is just beside me.

the night

2009-01-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

I can't sleep,
really got no idea why my mind keep thinking about that person,
since the day that person told me we will get along very well,
after few times we met,
i starting to care about what i did,
who i going to go with,
and that person feeling,
i wonder am i fall on that person now??
I wonder,
my mind just can't stop thinking about that person,
things that person asked me to help out,
flowing in my mind,
i wish to see that person now,
i know if i ask that person out now,
that person won't do it,
because it now late night,
but i know that if i say,
i want to meet you tomorrow,
that person will surely come over and fetch me for meeting.
But,
i really don't know,
what should i do?
Am i in the stage of people say falling in love with someone?
I think i am,
but i won't tell that person,
i think meeting that person is enough to satisfy myself.
I think so,
and hope so.

wonderful firework ever seen

2008-12-31T22:58:00.000-08:00

The eve of new year,
me and my friends went for count down at The Curve.
When time past 12 in the night,
i saw the most wonderful firework in my life.
Upon of that,
after the firework finish,
we all were jumping all around for the sake of we are finally in 2009.
It sound crazy,
people around us were looking at us,
but it's the joy we enjoy,
hahaha...

Let's make a new resolution for 2009,
wish all you guys all the best.

marvelous night ever

2008-12-30T02:05:00.000-08:00

Feeling of the night,
could just use a word to describe it,
'MARVELOUS',
'FANTASTIC',
'HOT',
and bla bla bla.

We were so crazy about what we did that night,
from house travel to a place,
meeting another person that turn us off,
planning to go away from that person,
travel to office,
and thing was finally done.

This journey was so tired,
the day after when i woke up,
few part of my muscles aching,
but all ware worth it.
hahahaha.

Sound crazy but i enjoy it,
anyway that was the first time i did something like that,
the thing that i wish i could try it again and again.

feeling of waiting

2008-12-26T08:11:00.000-08:00

I wonder,
is this the feeling of falling in love on someone??
These days,
i always looking at my phone,
hoping that that person will call me to chat.

Be frank,
i was attracted when our first conversation on the phone.
That person voice,
until now it still in my mind.

The first conversation with that person was so nice,
it hard to tell in word,
but it all wrote all in my heart.

Though that person was slightly elder than me,
but that person was so charming,
although we were from different state,
but i can feel that was no boundaries among us,
it seem to be near.

But after i heard that person relative said something to me,
i was so jealous,
but i have to control myself,
just pretend nothing,
and keep waiting for his call.

Hopefully someday he will call me again,
and talk with no limitation.

feel bad to be friendly

2008-12-25T07:41:00.000-08:00

I starting wonder,
am i too friendly to everyone??
even stranger,
new friends,
and so on,
Is being friendly a good attitude??
I don't know!!!
If so,
should i change the way that i approach everyone??

But being friendly is the way that i respect all of them,
the way i get to know more friends,
the way i expand my network,
the way i treat each and everyone of them.

It sound like a positive attitude,
but seriously being friendly is such a way that i treat everyone,
but it seem that,
it gave a wrong message to some of them,
not only one but more than u can't think of.

How should i overcome it??
Im that kind of person that doesn't know how to say the word "NO",
i scare i will hurt them if i say so,
i scare our friendship will put a dot if i say so.

So should i not being friendly in the first place if i meet someone new or stranger??
But i think i will still be the same,
because i don't use to it,
it's the way i live my life,
so just let everything go as it come.
Living happy is the main objective i searching for in my life.