helpless

on the 4th day of CNY,
where the day me and my family were about to head back to kl from ipoh,
unluckily in the morning of the day,
suddenly my aunt wake me up,
damn it just 8am ok,
then she told me that my mom fell down from the stair,
i was like huh!!! wtf??
then me and my dad quickly drive to the place where she was,
when we reach there,
i saw my mom with super f#@$ing pain and holding her leg,
at first i thought it just dislocated on her joint,
but she said her leg broken,
but i believe on my first aider experience,
i still think that just a normal dislocation,
but once we reach the hospital,
after going through x-ray,
o fuck...
it's a close fracture,
at that time i was stun and speechless,
i can't believe that it will happen on my mom,
.....
later on,
my dad ask me to follow my aunt to go back kl,
and my family will stay at ipoh look after my mom,
at that i really felt helpless and blank on my head,
but anyway im back to kl...
and i miss my mom alot,
im worried about her so much,
.....
im alone now,
i sms that person,
indeed i really need a shoulder to lay on,
to support me,
but no reply,
hahaha...
it just my own thinking toward that person,
i thought i could at least have that person support,
but...never mind,
i guess i could handle it myself...
LESTER it time to GROW UP...
STOP BEING NAIVE...
yes i can do it...

miss

These day,
i wonder why,
after few minutes i'll look at my phone,
to check whether are there any messages or calls,
but there aren't any.
Today,
when i woke up in the morning,
i was thinking should i asked that person out for 'drink',
i wanted to do so much,
but i don't dare to to text that person,
i don't know why,
maybe i don't want that person to think that i'm a glue.
Now,
my mind keep thinking of that person,
that person voice,
pictures of that person talking to me,
and on and on and on,
oh god,
this feeling really irritating,
i hate it.
I wish now that person is just beside me.

the night

I can't sleep,
really got no idea why my mind keep thinking about that person,
since the day that person told me we will get along very well,
after few times we met,
i starting to care about what i did,
who i going to go with,
and that person feeling,
i wonder am i fall on that person now??
I wonder,
my mind just can't stop thinking about that person,
things that person asked me to help out,
flowing in my mind,
i wish to see that person now,
i know if i ask that person out now,
that person won't do it,
because it now late night,
but i know that if i say,
i want to meet you tomorrow,
that person will surely come over and fetch me for meeting.
But,
i really don't know,
what should i do?
Am i in the stage of people say falling in love with someone?
I think i am,
but i won't tell that person,
i think meeting that person is enough to satisfy myself.
I think so,
and hope so.